Kalim & Lee
Dear Birth Mother,
It is not often that we get to sit back and really think about the full journey that has brought us all to where we are today. Translating that journey into words, then on to paper, has put those life decisions into perspective. And right or wrong (because that’s all relative), these decisions have made us who we are today. They remind us that we are human, with flaws and imperfections. At the end of the day, though, we all just want to love and be loved in return. We believe that in working toward a better tomorrow, love is the greatest motivator. There may be no greater gift for the next generation.
Which brings us to our message to you, which is one of love. Words cannot describe how much gratitude we have for you taking the time to read our book and to get to know us, even in this small way. We know it takes a lot of strength and courage to be where you are right now. We hold your decision with the utmost respect and know that your choice also comes from a place of love. Love for your child and their future.
The emotions you must be feeling are probably not something we can fully imagine. Please take comfort in knowing that whoever you select will be amazing parents. If we are lucky enough to be chosen by you, know that your child will always understand how deeply they are loved. Not only by us, but by you. You are a part of their story, and we will always honor that.
Regardless of what your path looks like, we hold space for your story, your pain, and your aspirations. The selfless sacrifice that you are making matters – we see it, and we are here to go on this journey side by side with you.
With much love and gratitude,
Kalim & Lee
Our Adoption Story & Promise to You
We have always known that love makes a family. From the very beginning of our relationship, we talked openly about becoming parents and what that might look like for us. This journey hasn’t been fast or easy. We have had to pause, reflect, and wait until we could show up for this process with the right kind of stability, openness, and love. But here we are now; deeply ready, full of hope, and grounded in the life we’ve built together. We are not perfect people, but we are steady, joyful, curious, and committed. We know that parenting is not just about love, but also about presence, consistency, and the willingness to keep growing and learning. We are ready for all of that, and more.
If we are lucky enough to become parents through adoption, we will raise your child with unconditional love and honesty about their story. We will tell them where they came from and that the decision you made was rooted in courage and love. They will grow up with language that celebrates their identity, their culture, and the people who brought them into the world. We will raise them with gentle structure, laughter, good food, bedtime stories, and a strong sense of who they are and who they can become. Our home will be a place where questions are welcome, emotions are honored, and love is constant.
We will be fathers who listen first, hold space for feelings, encourage curiosity, and celebrate small victories. We can see ourselves kneeling down to tie a shoelace, making silly voices during bedtime stories, and asking questions about their day at the dinner table. We will offer structure and calm when things feel overwhelming, and we will be honest about mistakes, making sure to help your child feel safe to make their own, knowing they are still fully loved. Most of all, we will be fathers who see and value your child in each phase of life. We will raise them to know where they come from, to take pride in their identity, and to trust in their worth. We won’t pretend to have all the answers, but we will always show up, keep growing, and love without condition.
At the heart of it all is family. We believe that family is not just the ones who are tied to you by blood, but they are also those who have been there for you through thick and thin. They hold you up when you need it the most and show you how valuable you truly are. We have taught each other about true love and partnership and have always encouraged the other to be their best self. We know that everything we have experienced in life has prepared us to be fathers. We will provide a safe, nurturing, and stable home where your child can not only live but thrive. We are eager to experience the joys, hardships, and responsibilities of parenting. We look forward to creating a home filled with love, encouragement, creativity, and lifelong support.
We promise to always honor you in your child’s life. Your presence will never be erased or forgotten. We will speak of you with respect, warmth, and gratitude. Whether or not you want to stay connected over time, your story will always be held close.
About Us
We met back in 2003, when we were both college students. Our first meeting was at the campus bookstore, where Kalim was working. Lee came to order a book that the store had run out of – a presidential biography, and it wasn’t for class! Kalim was immediately smitten, and from then on, we became good friends and eventually started dating. We actually found out later that we had some classmates in common as well.
We like doing a variety of things together, including traveling, exploring NYC parks and neighborhoods, gardening, gaming, and listening to good music. On weekends, we go out to brunch, and when the weather cooperates, it’s always fun to bring our dog, Nabi, along with us. You will probably also find us at home, taking care of our backyard, doing chores around the house, and catching up with family and friends. From a quick check-in call to a longer Zoom or a birthday dinner out, we cherish our time with our loved ones.
Most things we do as a couple revolve around food in some way – from cooking and eating at home, to eating out or just the act of eating with others we care for. Whether Lee is whipping up something delicious at home for friends (his salmon risotto is always a crowd pleaser) or we are trying delicious street food in another country, the memories we share always include tastes and smells.
Camping is something we’ve started doing more recently, and we have really been enjoying it! Although we’ve only done it a few times, it always gives us an opportunity to explore a neighboring state, eat the food of the area, and rejuvenate ourselves by disconnecting from our devices and reconnecting with each other.
About Kalim
I grew up in an immigrant family in California in the early 1990s. My childhood memories are filled with time spent together as a family. My parents stressed the importance of being kind to others and the value of education. My dad always taught me about the importance of being a good person. Something that has forever stuck with me is him telling me that children learn from adults in all types of ways. If we do good and care for others, they will learn from it and hopefully do the same. And that if we are unkind or take advantage of others, kids will learn from that as well. He encouraged me as a young person to understand the impact my actions had on others. This has guided me throughout my life, and I hope to pass this on to your child.
My hobbies range from learning to play guitar to writing short stories about strangers at a busy coffee shop in midtown Manhattan. I love getting to spend time going on long walks with our dog or running around the house with a laser pointer with our cat, who has endless energy for playing.
After college, I explored different career opportunities but always felt most at home in the classroom. That’s probably why I ended up falling in love with teaching. Throughout graduate school and for five years after that, I found myself in a job teaching math to adults and kids. I truly believe that the values my parents instilled in me to help people have been a driving force in each of my career choices. I now work at a nonprofit organization where I continue to find joy in teaching – this time teaching my colleagues about our financial standing through budgeting and analytics.
My job offers me a lot of flexibility, including the option to work from home and shortened work weeks during the summer months. I feel very lucky to know that I will be able to be a hands-on dad!
About Lee
The earliest memory I have as a child was living in a trailer park with my family of four. It wasn’t much; we didn’t even have warm running water, but it was home and all we could afford. Life was hard for us as immigrant refugees, and I often wondered why we had so little while others had so much. My grandmother told me that life deals you a set of cards. Those cards were always meant for you, and there is nothing you could do for another set. Though my cards were not a royal flush or even a pair, I refined my poker face and refused to fold. Now that I am a bit older, I hold those cards up with pride, knowing that it has made me strong, always determined to accomplish my goals. When I realized that I could thrive, even under the greatest of adversities, I felt that there was nothing that could keep me from succeeding.
I am someone who finds value in creativity. Creating something beautiful from nothing allows me to express myself, and it brings joy and color into the world around me. I love spending time making crafts, painting, and drawing, something I have enjoyed my entire life. My mother always encouraged the art that I made and was my biggest supporter, even though she eventually discouraged me from majoring in art in college. Music has also always been a big part of my life. I grew up playing piano for my church choir. Though we would never have won any singing competitions, we definitely made up for it in spirit and shared a special bond.
Gardening is another passion of mine. Even with dirt between my fingers and under my nails, it is somehow calming and gives me a sense of purpose. The feeling of watching a seed grow and produce edible fruits is phenomenal. I love to cook and experiment with different recipes and ingredients from around the world. I’m the type of person who will try something at least once. There is no way to know if you like something unless you try it! I am a believer that the best way to experience another culture is through their food.
In my professional life, I work as a financial risk analyst in banking. I feel lucky to have a career that brings me stability and structure while also supporting my long-term aspirations. Another reason why I love where I work is that my employer offers a supportive and flexible work environment that prioritizes work-life balance. With benefits such as parental leave, comprehensive healthcare and wellness programs, and a hybrid work schedule, it is possible to stay fully engaged in my career while also being present and available for my family.
Our Home
Growing up, we both often felt as if our home was more of a temporary space than a lasting sanctuary. Somewhere we lived, but not a place that truly felt like ours. This may be because we both grew up feeling different. We didn’t fit into a box like most others. That stayed with us for a long time and is probably what led us both to move away for college. It was not until we met and started to build a life together that we finally felt the comfort, warmth, and stability that we had always longed for. We soon realized that we were great at building a home when we were with each other. Throughout our 20-year relationship, we have lived in California and are now in New York City. Each time we moved, it felt like a new opportunity to reinvent our meaning of a home.
We live in a three-bedroom home in Brooklyn, NY. Our neighborhood is very diverse, and we are close to some of the best schools and two beautiful parks that we love taking Nabi to. We are also just a few blocks from the subway and love to make the most of living close enough to the city, while still enjoying the quiet and calm of our area.
Our home is more than just four walls. It is a peaceful, welcoming space filled with love, laughter, and meaningful traditions. Every corner holds a piece of our story, from the cozy and inviting kitchen where we cook our meals, to the family room where we relax, watch TV, snuggle and play with our animals, and spend time with family and friends. If asked what our decorating style is, we often say sentimental. This is because every single item has a story, has history, and a memory attached to it. Our home is a place where birthdays are always celebrated, holidays are always cherished, and quiet moments are just as special as the big ones. This is the very home we wish to raise your child in, where they will always feel safe, seen, and unconditionally loved.
Nabi & Pan
Our home has always been filled with fur babies. When we met in college, Lee had a dog and a cat, and Kalim had two cats. Ever since then, we have welcomed (and sadly had to say goodbye) to several pets who have made a lasting impression on us. Currently, our four-legged family members include a two-year-old cat named Pan, who was abandoned in our backyard when she was only a few days old, and a four-year-old dog named Nabi, who we found through a NYC-based nonprofit that rescues animals from Korea. Both are the gentlest of souls and always bring a sweet and calming energy to our home, often opting for cuddles over playtime.
Our Loved Ones
We have family and friends on the East and West coasts who we have known for many years and have grown up with. Lee’s family lives in southern California. We cherish our time with our four nieces when we visit or when they travel to see us. In addition to his sisters’ kids, he also has 3 uncles who have kids of their own. When we go to family events, you can usually find us making time to have deep conversations with other adults, laughing with older kids as they tell us stories about college life, and jumping into whatever game the young ones are playing that day. Kalim’s family and most of our friends, who we see as our chosen family, live in northern California. On the East Coast, we have an amazing friend from college and family members from Maine to Philadelphia. Seeing one another and being a part of their kids’ lives as they grow has helped to ground us since we moved to NYC.
We are our most authentic selves around the people we love. In the decades we’ve known each other, we have helped one another navigate the challenges and celebrate the successes that come with life. No matter the group of people, when we get together, there is food and laughter; shared memories and catching up on things we’ve missed since we last spoke, and usually a fun game night mixed in. Among our loved ones, we have a reputation of being uncles who are up for laser tag when the other adults are too tired, making sure there are snacks for folks of all ages at our get-togethers, and people you can always count on to watch your dogs if you need to travel.
Those closest to us know that we have chosen to grow our family through adoption and have been very supportive. They are so excited for us, and we feel so lucky to know that your baby will be surrounded by their love as well.
Holidays & Traditions
Celebrations are a huge part of our lives. We believe that both large and small celebrations are equally important. For us, any celebration is a great excuse to be together with our family and friends, making memories and having a great time together. Whether that be small victories such as getting through the work week, or big holidays like Christmas, we approach both celebrations with the same level of enthusiasm.
Birthdays are always extra special in our home, no matter the age. We always have cake and sing Happy Birthday! Even if the birthday song turns into a solo performance, the level of excitement remains the same. It is a tradition that we have kept for as long as we can remember! We believe that it is a wonderful way to show someone how valued and loved they truly are. Our birthday celebrations always include decorations (which tend to stay up for months), a nice meal of the birthday person’s choice, and of course, cake. Occasionally, we go outside the box and have pie 😉
Holidays are equally important and meaningful. Christmas is when the magic comes to life in our home. Decorating the tree, stringing lights, listening to festive music, and cozying up with those that we love are all part of the fun. We celebrate Thanksgiving with a big, warm meal, often surrounded by family and friends. Halloween is by far our favorite. Dressing up in creative and fun costumes, carving pumpkins, roasting pumpkin seeds, giving out candy to trick or treaters, and going all out with spooky decorations is always a lot of fun.
We have created a home full of traditions, celebrations, and love, and we can’t wait to continue these and more with your child.
We can’t begin to imagine what you must be feeling and thinking at this time in your life, but we hope that reading our story gives you even the tiniest bit of hope. Hope in realizing that you are not alone and that through this process that has brought us together, you have our support, no matter what you decide. We also hope you can feel the love we have and the life we have to give to your child. We plan to make learning an everyday affair, food from around the world their norm, and unconditional love an essential part of growing up.
Thank you for getting to know us a little through these pages. From the bottom of our hearts, we wish you strength to do what is best. If that means choosing us so we can become parents, then we can’t wait to meet you and get to know what your hopes and dreams are for yourself and for your child.
With love and gratitude,
Kalim & Lee
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