Annie & Cary

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to get to know us through this glimpse into our lives. We deeply respect the many journeys you are going through, from the physical and mental demands of pregnancy, to arriving at your decision and meeting us here. While we can’t know exactly what you are feeling, please know how much we appreciate your consideration.

We hope to fully share what makes us “us”, and how we, our extended family, and community will welcome and nurture your child. We promise to love unconditionally, to prioritize laughter, and to embrace their full identity.

We imagine this is not a simple nor easy decision for you, but we know it’s one that is being made from the deepest type of love. We thank you for the opportunity to change our lives in such a profound way.

With love and gratitude,

Annie & Cary

Our Adoption Story & Promise To You

We knew early on in our relationship that our family would be complete with a child in it. Annie has always envisioned building a family through adoption, and she even considered starting the journey before she met Cary, as a single person. She has loved working closely with children during her career, and learned from an early age that family transcends biological ties, having grown up around a number of “chosen” aunts and uncles. Even though Cary was less familiar with adoption, he became excited about building a family this way as he connected with friends who had their own adoption stories and really started to learn more about the process.

We realize how lucky we are, and we never take it for granted. Lucky to have found each other, lucky to live in a home we created together, in a city we love, lucky to work meaningful and flexible jobs, and—most importantly—lucky to be members of nurturing families and communities. Sometimes our gratitude is difficult to put into words, but we know that raising your child will be its truest expression.

There will be movie nights, backyard play, singing, dancing, homework help, tears and laughter, all founded on unwavering love. Your child will also know a sense of community from their earliest days. We are incredibly fortunate to be surrounded by a group of friends that we call family, and we view the saying that “It takes a village” as a value to uphold. Our friend group often chips in with cooking and sharing family meals, babysitting, and school pick-ups. We know the joy of coming up with a terrible-but-hilarious knock-knock joke and laughing even on the 28th time it’s told in a night, biking to ice-cream, creating games for long car rides, bedtime stories (read at least 3 times with ALL the character voices!), and what camping with a toddler entails! We have embraced the shared responsibility of caring for our friend’s children together, and our excitement grows every day with the possibility of sharing this world with your child.

Even with the strongest supports, we promise to acknowledge our limits, continue to learn, face difficult conversations with openness and free of judgment, and build an inclusive space. We promise to provide your child a life where they are free to explore who they are while always knowing that they will be surrounded by our unconditional love, and yours, too.

We never want you to feel pressured, but if you are open to sharing, we would love to learn more about you – your hopes and dreams for your child, and for you too. No matter what, in our home, your child will grow up knowing about you and all the love that went into the most selfless decision any mom could make for their child.

About Us

We had been in the same friend group for years, but with Annie’s move from New Haven back to NYC for work, our paths didn’t cross often enough to address the spark between us. Leave it to the pandemic to bring us together! With our tightknit group of friends in the same “COVID Bubble” and Annie still in NYC, the first months of dating were filled with extra precautions, nasal swabs, “out of extreme caution” cancellations, 2-hour drives to see each other, and creative dates. We went camping, had the world’s smallest kitchen dance parties, and shared favorite TV shows, music, and movies from our childhood.

The logistical challenges of the time confirmed how we wanted to show up for each other. Though some might have considered it a faster-paced love story with two very different people, we knew that what made us stronger was just how unique we are.

Where Cary might choose a long hike and Annie would pick a local art show, there is the joy in discovering shared interests. Cary got Annie on cross-country skis and playing more music together and Cary appreciates and even participates in the variety of activities Annie crams into a week and now knows more about shows on BRAVO than he cares to admit. We encourage each other to stretch outside our comfort zone, expand our interests, and challenge our views while supporting each other as individuals.

About Annie

Written with love by Cary

Annie is strong, compassionate, intelligent, and witty. She meets challenging situations, emotions, and people head-on and is driven by a strong sense of justice. She shows this in her support of the patients and healthcare workers at the local Planned Parenthood, the care packages she makes for New Haven’s unhoused population, and her support for local education, arts, and food pantry non-profits. Though her social battery is often fuller than mine, I love her commitment to connecting with friends and to building community. She is the one who organizes friend get-togethers, helps with childcare, and shows up for her friend’s art shows and performances. She makes a point of staying connected with her friends scattered across the map with daily phone calls and “thinking of you” texts.

Annie holds true expertise in childhood education and has led teams on the cutting edge of literacy research. This, combined with how deeply she cares, allows her to really connect in such a beautiful way with children of all ages. She is a favorite aunt (biological and chosen) to many children in our life, and I’ve yet to meet a little one who does not immediately fall in love with her. She always seems to know the right question or funny face to snap a child out of a funk.

Finally, Annie is hilarious. People who meet her are often dumbfounded by how quickly she can come up with the perfect pun or reference. Coming from a family of storytellers, she loves building make-believe worlds. After finding out our friend’s daughter thought Annie was Mary Poppins, Annie surprised her at her birthday party in full costume and character as the Disney character, Mary Poppins. Not only will Annie be a warm and nurturing parent, she will set a daily example for your child (as she does for me) of how to stand up with pride, cultivate friendships, and keep things silly!

In Annie’s Words

Kids have always been such an important part of my life. My background in Special Education and interest in literacy and dyslexia meant roles as a Special Education teacher, working at a research lab studying Dyslexia and the brain, and creating resources and educational programs for teachers and families at a school for kids with learning disabilities. I am a fierce advocate for equity in education and will most certainly be a parent that the school might view as the “squeaky wheel”, because I fight every day to ensure that every child has the opportunity to become a lifelong reader.

When people tell me how much kids love me, I jokingly say it’s because I am a clown. What I mean by that is I will gladly pretend to be an elephant on roller-skates in the grocery store if it will help calm the tears of a child.

I will spend an hour bouncing a friends’ baby in my arms, whisper-singing a lullaby to help them fall asleep (and give their parents a break), and I will take on whatever role a child gives me in their make-believe playtime as though I am going for an Academy Award. I want to ensure the kids in my life are happy and know how much they are loved and supported. This comes from a positive place which guides me as an open-hearted spouse, aunt, daughter, friend, and hopefully as a mom one day.

About Cary

Written with love by Annie

A lot of the time Cary is referred to as “the quiet one”, which really means he is thoughtful, inquisitive, and reflective. He takes his time to fully listen and understand people. He wants to know how your day went. He is there to support and share advice, but only if it’s asked for! He is the person that will do a rabbit hole exploration on a topic you are passionate about so he can talk with you more in-depth. His love of learning new things is matched with the true joy he gets from teaching a helpful skill, sharing a fun fact, or just chatting and hanging out with friends. He believes the best in everyone and has shown me how to be a more considerate and patient person.

Something that immediately stood out to me was how Cary engages with kids. He always crouches down to their level so they feel safe and respected. He never misses a chance to hear about a friends’ kid’s day at school or teach a critical schoolyard skill like snapping or blowing a bubble with gum. My niece and nephew easily fell in love with Cary (and my niece Ruby can be a tough-sell). There are piggy-backs, conversations about video games (that I have 0% understanding of), jamming on instruments, early morning FaceTime calls, and yes, many trips to Taco Bell. Their most recent adventure was Ruby and Cary getting their ears pierced together!

It is common for Cary to turn to me out of nowhere and say, “When we’re parents I want to…” as he is constantly reflecting on how to be the best possible version of himself for us and for our future family. Cary contains all this AND he has a great, goofy, sense of humor. I believe all the wonderful parts of Cary easily translate to what will make him an exceptional dad and I am eager to see him shine in this role.

In Cary’s Words

Hi! I’m Cary! I’m so excited to watch your child grow and find their unique path. Some of my most joyful moments of the last few years have been with the children of my friends and family as they explore their environments and abilities. Seeing a friends’ infant learn to scoot around a living room; following their toddler on a walk to the end of the block and then running alongside them two years later on their first bike ride; listening to my niece read from her favorite book; and jamming out on piano and guitar with my teenage nephew are just a few of my favorite things to do. I love learning and exploring the outdoors with friends and am fortunate to have found a career that scratches both of these itches. As a bicycle mechanic, I am constantly learning how to service the latest components and exploring the local trails with my colleagues.

During the high season, the bike shop can be quite a chaotic place. Quick fixes need addressing, parts need ordering, and overwhelmed customers need reassuring. Sometimes, we need to zero-in and focus; other times, we step back, look at the big picture, and find the best and simplest solution for the moment. The stakes are certainly higher as a parent, but I like to think that my comfort with the messiness and imperfection of this environment will prepare me in some way for fatherhood.

Home Sweet Home

Home means many things to us. It is the city we live in, our neighbors, and our local group of friends, in addition to our cozy house where we enjoy hosting our family and friends. Part of why we decided to return to New Haven is it’s a just-right size city: not too big, not too small and filled with the qualities of a larger city, including being one of the most diverse cities in the Northeast with the ability to get to know our neighbors. We are a short walk to friends’ houses, parks, playgrounds, and amazing schools. We live a quick drive to Annie’s family on the shoreline and are only a slightly longer trip to Cary’s family in Massachusetts and New York. New York City is a quick train ride away and when we want more quiet nature, we have Vermont, New Hampshire or Upstate New York for hiking, skiing, and camping.

Our home is also our sanctuary where we unwind after a long day. We live in a 3-bedroom, single-family house on a quiet one-way street in a neighborhood that includes many families with younger children, as well as older folks who have lived in the area for decades. Annie is an avid decorator and loves finding and arranging unique and beautiful objects and plants to make the house our home.

Apart from the kitchen which is absolutely our gathering spot, we spend the majority of our time in our living room, reading, watching comedy specials or YouTube clips of Cary’s latest topic of interest, and mapping out our next home improvement project. Our small backyard is made for gardening and hanging out long past sunset in the warmer months. We work to ensure our home is both a welcoming space to gather and a quiet place to recharge.

We chose this spot because we believe it is the perfect place to raise a family and we dream often of moments together with a little one in this very home.

Our Family & Loved Ones

From Cary:

I was raised in a small (“I mean SMALL”) college town in Western Massachusetts. My parents are recently retired and still love the unique blend of outdoor and cultural activities that the area provides. My mom is enjoying her extra time reading, drawing, cooking, and going for frequent walks. My dad has dedicated his time to community service and a life-long passion for songwriting and performing. When we get together with them, we like to hike, visit museums, cross-country ski, or just stay in. My parent’s lives are also increasingly dedicated to being grandparents! My sister and brother-in-law, who live in the Hudson Valley, had their first child in 2024 and have a second on the way. Their daughter is a total ball of energy and is already taking on the title of older sister with pride. My younger brother and sister-in-law recently welcomed a daughter and we use any free weekend to hop on a train to visit them in Brooklyn for wandering the neighborhood, enjoying their Italian cooking, and lots of simply staring at how cute our niece is. My siblings and I grew up with a large extended family that we would see frequently, and everyone is very ecstatic about our decision to add to the next generation of cousins through adoption.

As most of our grandparents have passed on, Annie and I are extra thankful for time with my grandma, “Nanny” who lives nearby. She is busier than we are, with social clubs and continuing her interior design business, though she reminds us that she is ready for another great-grandchild.

From Annie:

Growing up, my friends would say, “Your family is the best!”, and while I am biased to that, I understand it is due to how funny, creative, and generous they are. When we are together, there is certain to be many jokes being made and a story (or 2 or 3) about our family history.

I was raised in a small town in Connecticut, where we played in the neighborhood streets until it was dark out. The woods were our playground, and friendships that were forged in elementary school and summer camp remain to this day. I guess you could say it was a typical suburban upbringing in the most classical sense. My mom is a Science Fiction and Fantasy author. This meant the bonus of a childhood surrounded by inclusive and creative (weird is not an insulting word in my world) people. Despite my parents being only children and coming from smaller families, my brother and I had the benefit of close family friends as aunts and uncles (sometimes referred to as faunts and funcles because they felt far more fun than usual).

My parents emphasized teaching my brother and me about the world outside our front door. This meant ancient myths as bedtime stories, attending interfaith services and events, world history lessons peppered in at the dinner table, traveling, enjoying various cultural festivals, and even participating in historical reenactment groups.

My brother and I like to joke that we are twins born five years apart, as we have always been extremely close and built a childhood of imaginary worlds and inside jokes. (Those jokes are still in the mix to this day, despite our spouses rolling their eyes a bit at this.) My brother and sister-in-law are so ready to become an aunt and uncle – they have unknowingly promised us hours of babysitting at no charge.

I first felt how much my heart could expand with love for a child when my nephew was born. He is my buddy to be extra goofy with, and even though he is now a teenager (when did THAT happen?!), he still considers me “cool enough” to hang out with. And just when I thought I couldn’t love another kid as much as I love him, his sister came along! Cary and I never miss a chance to attend their various sporting, music, and theater events. Much like their parents, they are always reminding us they are ready for a cousin to spoil and entertain.

Needless to say, our family and friends are beyond thrilled that we have decided to grow our family through adoption. Each of them is ready to welcome your child with open arms and unconditional love.

Holidays & Traditions

We are always celebrating with extended family and friends for Thanksgiving and we love the added magic that Christmas and Chanukah with nieces and nephews provide. These celebrations always revolve around quality time, loved ones and home cooked meals. Our biggest shared tradition so far is a Passover seder, which Annie began hosting before she and Cary met. This cultural celebration brings together friends and family of all faiths to give thanks, have interesting discussions, and fuel our hearts and bodies to continue the work remaining to repair our world. But just as much, it is a time to sing, laugh, and enjoy new cuisines.

We also celebrate the end of the week with a Friday night potluck dinner with our friends and their kids. These evenings include just as much catching-up and eating as they do running around and imaginative play with the kids.

We are excited to build new traditions as our family grows and look forward to learning about and including those from your culture and background as well.

There is no way for us to know exactly what you are going through, but please know that we have the utmost respect for you and whatever decision you make. We know your child already contains the things that make them special and we are here to provide unfaltering love, patience, humor, and a foundation for them to develop into a compassionate and confident person. Thank you for this opportunity to change our lives in the most meaningful way possible.

With love and gratitude,

Annie & Cary

CONTACT US

We know this is not an easy decision. Everything you share will be kept confidential. Once you complete the form, call or text, we will reach out to you.

CALL OR TEXT ANY TIME

Let’s Talk or Text Confidentially & Privately

Hudson Hearts Adoption

Part of the Hudson Valley Adoption Services Family

917-744-7678 - Text or Call
Birth Mother Hotline
Available Anytime Every Day
Serving Birth Mothers Anywhere in the US
_______
917-744-7678- Call 24/7

917-744-7678 - Text 24/7 info@hudsonvalleyadoption.org

Arkansas

10515 W Markham
Suite V1
Little Rock, AR 72205
917-744-7678

Arkansas

3537 N Steele Blvd
Suite 110 #110308
Fayetteville, AR 72703
917-744-7678

Arkansas

813 Oak Street
Suite 10-1082
Conway, AR 72032
917-744-7678

New York

2 Woodstock Meadows Lane
Suite #280
Woodstock, NY 12498
917-744-7678

New York

258 Ushers Road
Suite 203
Clifton Park, NY 12065
917-744-7678

Texas