Ashley, Colin & Roman
Dear Birth Mother,
Thank you for taking the time to read about our family. More than anything, we want you to know how grateful we are that you are considering us to be parents to your child. We understand that you are making a difficult choice at this time in your life, a choice we will respect and honor.
If you feel a connection with our story, you’ll probably see that we will do everything in our power to ensure that your child is given every opportunity available. We will give them the care and comfort you would want for them. Their childhood will be in our hands, so please believe that there will be endless imagination, fun and opportunities. But our commitment won’t end at childhood, it will go on for the rest of their lives. We want your child to know where they came from and know that they can do anything that they’re willing to work toward, and we will be there to support them every step of the way.
With love,
Ashley, Colin & Roman
Our Adoption Story
Adoption has always been present in both of our lives. Ashley’s sister was adopted, and we both have extended family members who are adopted as well. It was never treated as taboo or hidden from anyone in our families. Our families have always been open about our stories and everyone is treated the exact same. When we talked about how we would grow our family, adoption always felt like the right choice for us.
Since adopting our son Roman, we have found that being open about his adoption story has been the best approach. Romans’s awareness of where he comes from, and of his biological family, shows him that all families are different, and different is special (as noted from one of his favorite bedtime stories). We put together a bedtime book for Roman that talks about his adoption story to show where he came from, how he came to be a part of our family, and who the important people in his life were before we adopted him. We have taught Roman that his adoption story belongs to him and he can share it with others if he wants to.
We have a beautiful and open relationship with Roman’s birth mom and we strive to honor her wishes each day. Without a doubt, you have our commitment that we will do the same for you and your child.
Our Promise to You
We will also honor and respect your child’s background and culture, while allowing them to experience ours as well. Ashley’s family is a huge mix of cultures. Between her Honduran mother and Lebanese father, Ashley, who grew up in Louisiana, is extremely conscious of the importance of celebrating and respecting communities. We also like to focus on our similarities, while celebrating our differences. That is the sort of positive outlook we would want for your child, especially once they’ve had the endless breakfast, lunch, and dinner at a day-long Honduran Thanksgiving or at Carnival Parades!
Our role as parents, among other things, is to help guide your child into the world, sharing it with them as they grow, and giving them as many resources as possible along the way. Travel was a big part of our childhoods, and we would want to make it a part of your child’s as well. Colin’s parents took him to the high peaks of the Sierra Nevada Mountains in California, and the beaches of Bermuda, while Ashley spent her childhood summers visiting family in Spain and Honduras.
Finally, we want your child to have an excellent education which, to us, means more than what they learn at school. Both of us were given extra time and attention from our parents when it came to homework and activities, which has helped us to become lifelong learners. Ashley has learned to speak Spanish with Roman, and Colin speaks French. We learn new languages when we travel, read books to learn new skills like web development and woodworking, and look to YouTube for advice on how to make cleaning less of a chore, or up our yoga game. We have never stopped learning, and we would want your child to never stop either.
About Us
Our love and our marriage is only possible because of a poet Maya Angelou. We met in college in New Orleans in the Spring of 2005 when Maya Angelou came to speak on campus, and we fell into each other’s arms (literally!). Colin was involved with putting on the event and was directing people to the theater when he spotted Ashley on the other side of the quad, in a disagreement with the guy she was dating at the time. Ashley was very embarrassed since she saw that Colin witnessed the entire awkward conversation. Once Ashley was alone, she turned to see Colin was still standing right in front of the door, and she asked if he had seen what happened. He said he had, and asked if she needed a hug. At first, Ashley said no, but when he asked again, she said yes. Although nothing romantic happened that day (Hurricane Katrina and graduating college happened in between), it played as a segway when we reconnected in 2010 at a friend’s birthday party and became inseparable.
Above all else, we are a team. We balance each other’s strengths and compensate for each other’s weaknesses while keeping things silly and fun. Ashley sees the big picture, keeping an eye on the calendar for upcoming events and great adventures, while Colin is more of a hands-on operator who handles day-to-day things like groceries, cooking, and laundry. But overall, we are soulmates. The word for soulmate in Spanish is media naranja, which literally translates to half orange and that is how we refer to each other.
We are both extremely active in Romans’s life and make sure that he feels included in everything we do. When we take turns with pick-up and drop-off at school, we let Roman pick the music and we sing along to/from school. At dinner time, we all get a say in what we eat, and at bedtime, Roman gets to choose the book we read. We do our best to focus on experiences instead of possessions, making memories at Renaissance festivals, playing with our four rescue dogs, attending outdoor concerts, and traveling to tropical beaches, going to New York City, or back home to New Orleans.
Weekends are filled with sunny days at the park, flying a kite, or exploring a playground. If it’s raining, then we will work on a puzzle, play with Legos, roll out parchment paper for watercolor painting, bake a dessert, or build a pillow fort to watch movies. We are usually up for most any activity, as long as we are together.
About Ashley
I grew up in New Orleans with a brief detour to Houston, TX for high school. The youngest of four girls, my mother hails from Honduras, and my dad is from Lebanon (they met in a bar in New Orleans and the rest was history!). My parents adopted my older sister, Ruth, when she was 13. She and I are so close and this experience has had me feeling and believing that adoption would be the right way to start a family when I was only 12. For me, it was a non-negotiable and when I spoke with Colin about it, he was totally on board.
Colin will tell you that above all else, I am someone who believes and acts to make everyone feel included. I have the habit of sitting down with someone who doesn’t feel included and bringing them into a conversation or activity. Although I am quick to make acquaintances, I have a small group of my nearest and dearest friends who I consider to be my tribe. I met my best friend when we were in the 6th grade. Her name is also Ashley! You could also say I am a bit of an explorer (to put it mildly!), always looking for the next destination for a family vacation and once-in-a-lifetime activity, such as dog-sledding in Northern Canada, or riding in a hot air balloon over Lake Tahoe. Any chance I get, I will load up my paddle board and ride out to the lake. The water is my happy place.
That sense of exploration extends to music as well. I’m always looking for more artists to add to my Spotify playlists, which includes everything from Metallica and Chevelle, to Dr. John and Jon Batiste, to Lizzo and Sza.
Though I think of myself as someone who loves to constantly be learning, I am terrible at taking tests! Once I figured out what works best for me, I made a career change and now I am pretty happy with my work-from-home job as a product owner in technology for the federal government. I am able to keep a flexible schedule which gives me the chance to be at Roman’s school whenever I am needed.
As a mom, I have done my best to learn from my own childhood. I try my best to take on a more open and present approach and be as hands-on as possible. I encourage Roman to explore his feelings, rather than suppress them, and ask him to take deep breaths to explain what he is feeling, even if he can’t fully express himself quite yet.
I love to do crafts with Roman and you can usually find us painting or drawing, baking a cake or cookies, or even building pretty complicated airplanes out of Legos. In addition, I have been focused on teaching Roman Spanish since he was an infant. I am not a native speaker and I had a hard time speaking with my cousins and my grandma who only spoke Spanish so this was something I really wanted to improve upon. I am pretty conversational now, and I want to set Roman and a future sibling up for success in being able to speak fluently in both languages.
About Colin
I grew up in Upstate, NY, having been born in Poughkeepsie, and ultimately ending up in Albany, before moving to New Orleans for college. After graduating, I spent the next 18 years there, and during that time I built a career in software, learned to box, discovered woodworking, and reignited my childhood interest in writing. And it was there that I discovered a love for music of every kind, from Mexican flamenco to Harlem jazz, to European metal, and everything in between.
Since I was little, I have always loved to create. I made my first attempt at writing a book when I was 7 years old. I learned simple mechanics by disassembling and reassembling my family’s lawn mower in middle school and worked as an auto technician in high school. Ashley says that one of my talents, apart from making delicious sandwiches, is being able to learn things very quickly. I taught myself how to build websites when I was in my mid-twenties, while Ashley was studying for grad school, and have been writing code as a career ever since. Just before our family relocated to Albany in 2020, I started writing again, and in 2021 I began working with a writing coach, which has helped me get published online, and be credited as a finalist in a national short story contest (something I am very proud of!). More recently, I started building furniture for my home office. There is something really incredible about creating something from my own hands and hard work.
Though I’m actually very introverted, most people would never know it. I have done quite a bit of public speaking through my work, have written blogs about coding and even recorded podcasts about my career in software. I am quick to make friends, though usually not the one to make the first move. I am also not one to start up a conversation, I guess you could say I am more of a listener.
I tend to be the parent who focuses on the day-to-day routines – grocery shopping, planning out everyone’s meals for the day, staying on top of the laundry, and keeping track of garbage day. I also help Roman with any homework and after-school activities like drum lessons. This means, I usually rely on Ashley to maintain the big-picture view of what’s coming on the horizon, which helps us work as a team.
Just like Ashley, I love to explore new places, try new foods, and listen to new music; but more than anything I can get lost in books for hours on end. I am an early riser – usually up at 5 a.m., feeding the puppies, brewing coffee, and settling down for an hour of reading before everyone else wakes up. Reading and exploring have been constant themes in how I raise Roman, and how I will parent your child as well. We can spend a day following a stream in the woods to see where it leads, read books in the library down the street, or dance in the dining room to a Spotify playlist. I have so much room in my heart for your child and cannot wait to be a dad of two.
About Roman
Outgoing and fast to introduce himself to new friends, Roman loves to find new ways to play and have fun. He loves music, dances any chance he can get, and has been interested in playing drums since his first birthday. He is very open with his feelings, and we encourage him to be vocal so that he doesn’t feel like he is being ignored. He likes routines and is very particular about things like brushing his teeth and putting his clothes in the hamper. And while he loves to go on new adventures, he has a hard time trying new foods, which is something we are working on.
He loves to travel with us and gets excited whenever we have a layover because that means more airplanes to be on! He also likes trains and buses but loves boats most of all. He even has his own kayak! He is currently obsessed with all things space and can name all of the planets. One of his favorite TV shows is Miles of Tomorrowland, a show about a boy whose family lives on a spaceship and explores new planets in every episode. He loves to look at the moon through his telescope, and for fun, we sometimes watch YouTube videos of rockets taking off and orbiting the Earth.
Roman can’t wait to be a big brother. At least once a week, he asks if his younger sibling will come live with us soon. He has already set aside toys and books that he wants to give to your child. He can play on his own but prefers to play in a one-on-one setting, using his imagination to create fun stories and worlds to explore.
Our Sweet Girls
A big part of getting to know us is also getting to know our four little puppies. Though they are not all quite puppies in age, they will always be puppies to us! They are our thunder buddies, our interactive teddy bears, our private book club, and our backyard entertainment. They are Roman’s sisters and companions, keeping his bed warm for him in the winter, or an audience for him to sing to when he plays his ukulele. These girls (Harper, Boomer, Clover, Piper) were the reason our son came to us. His birth mom picked us because she wanted her child to be surrounded by dogs!
Our family started with these sweet and gentle pups. Each came to us in different ways. We have never turned away a puppy in need, and we have no doubt that we never will. As we have come to love them, so too has Roman, and all of our friends and family who come to visit.
Home Sweet Home
We live in a three-story Victorian house (built in 1890) in Albany, NY. Our neighborhood is walking distance to some amazing restaurants, cafes, a library, and a movie theater. Our home is first and foremost, comfortable. We usually have music playing and you will probably find at least one puppy on the couch waiting for someone to cuddle with. Our dining room has a long table that can seat 12 people which is great for holiday dinners but is also where Roman can do his homework, play with Legos and work on his favorite puzzles.
Our home is a welcoming space for everyone and we love hosting friends and family. Fire Pit Fridays are a weekly tradition where we can call gather in our backyard. There is plenty of space for the kids to run around and for the adults to socialize. When were not hosting, were usually playing with the puppies, or teaching Roman to ride his bike in our wrap-around driveway.
Albany is a really great city with a diverse population. Roman’s school is both a dual-language school, and a school where immigrant children learn English as a new language. Because of the small classes, we have made friends with all of his classmates’ parents, and they all even play soccer together on weekends!
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Our Loved Ones
We are both very close to our parents and have strong relationships with our families. Though they live in different states (Virginia and Texas), thanks to FaceTime, we are constantly in touch with everyone! We also make visits twice a year a big priority for our family.
We also have extended family scattered throughout the world who we have stayed in touch with and try to visit as often as possible in New York, Colorado, Honduras, and Louisiana.
We are very close with our friends, and they have quickly become like family to us. So much so that Roman calls them Tio and Tia (Spanish for uncle and aunt)! We do our best to reach out to our friends whenever we travel so that we can always stay connected and maintain a strong support system for the children in our lives.
Holidays & Traditions
In our house, the most important time of year is the Mardi Gras season. Since we are all so connected to New Orleans (Ashley grew up there, Roman was born there, and Colin spent half of his life there!), it has become something we look forward to every year. We continue to travel down to New Orleans every spring for the family-friendly parades and costume parties that take place leading up to and on Mardi Gras Day. We even host a King Cake party in Albany for our friends, and decorate our house in Mardi Gras colors!
Our second biggest holiday is Halloween, and every year we decorate our house in more and more fun and complicated ways, usually featuring skeletons in the front yard doing something fun, like playing table tennis or having a New Orleans-style second-line parade. We have also hosted ghost hunts in our backyard for Roman’s friends, where they search for candy wrapped in tissue paper made to look like ghosts. The restaurants in our neighborhood always welcome everyone to come eat wearing their costumes so we went as Ghostbusters to family brunch one year.
We also celebrate Christmas, which involves decorating our tree set up in our dining room, and opening presents on Christmas morning. We usually focus our efforts on one or two nice big gifts for each other, rather than a lot of small gifts. For example, last year Roman got a great telescope that lets him see the moon up close. For Thanksgiving, we usually travel to meet up with family. That could be a few hours’ drive down to see Colin’s cousin in Poughkeepsie, or a flight to see Ashley’s cousins in Honduras.
We hope that as you have gotten to know us through our book, you get a sense of how dedicated we are to our role as parents. We have been dreaming about having a family through adoption, and we have loved every minute of it since Roman came into our lives (including the ups and downs!). We are honored every day by the choice Roman’s birth mom made and we promise you that we will honor you every day.
We want you to be comfortable in your decision and are here to answer your questions and talk through your wishes. If you should choose us, please know that we would be eternally grateful.
With love,
Ashley, Colin & Roman
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