Choosing Adoptive Parents
Choosing an adoptive family can be very overwhelming. I do not know that there is any “right or one way” to select prospective parents for your baby. I know that everyone has different ideal images of what they want when choosing the people (or person) that will be raising their child. From experience, I also know that placing your baby for adoption is absolutely heartbreaking, so adding on the fact that you now have to decide who will raise that baby instead, is a lot.
When I found out I was pregnant and came to the conclusion of placing my daughter for adoption, my emotions were quite literally all over the place. I was confused, anxious, scared, heartbroken, and angry. I wasn’t sure how to navigate everything I was feeling in addition to the fact that I did not know how to go about the process. Fortunately, I came across this agency, and soon after my interest form request was filled out, I received a phone call from Amy. She guided me throughout the whole process and while all these different emotions don’t cease to exist, she did help me feel more at peace with the process. This newfound peace allowed me the opportunity to focus on choosing who would be raising my baby. What I appreciated about this agency, was that they have you fill out this survey in regard to what you were looking for in a new family. I feel as if I have heard countless stories of birth moms reading hundreds of different profiles and I think this survey process really helps narrow potential families to where it isn’t quite as overwhelming. I have always thought about the kind of parent that I would one day potentially be. This version of myself seemed so far away that the reality that I was birthing a child and having to make that decision of what kind of parent I wanted for her, was very unsettling.
It came time for Amy to send me different profiles of adopting families. I remember the first round of profiles that she sent me, and I just didn’t have that “this is it” feeling, so I requested for her to send more. It wasn’t that there was anything “wrong” with these families, I just felt that I needed some kind of unique connection with the family that was supposed to raise my baby, and I just hadn’t received it quite yet. So, she sends me more. I start reading one of the profiles in the second round, and without even getting through half of the profile, I knew. This couple with their little boy (who I knew was meant to be the brother of my little girl), was the exact image of everything I saw in myself as a future parent. Their genuineness, family togetherness, morals, faith, activeness, and background, just everything went perfectly with what I wanted for my daughter. After reading the profile in full, and reading it again, and again, I knew that I needed to send over the profiles to my boyfriend as he was a part of the process as well. As I sent them to him, I didn’t tell him my preference because I wanted to see which family he would choose. I prayed about it because I didn’t know what else to do. We then talk about the different profiles and come to find out we ended up choosing the same family. That was it, that was my sign, and so I told Amy. She then went on to reach out to the family and the rest is history. My daughter is now placed in that beautiful family and has two sets of loving parents.
No adoption is the same. Adoption can be varied from open, to semi-open, to closed. I can tell you that I originally wanted my daughter’s adoption to be closed, however, I had a phone call with the adoptive parents, and eventually, I did a complete 360 to have a fully open adoption and am so grateful that I still get to be a part of her life. I may not be the person that is raising her, but I feel absolutely confident in who I chose to do so.
Back to what I said earlier, there is no tutorial or “right” way to go about choosing adoptive parents. It is whatever feels right for you. It can help to idealize if you were to raise this baby, how you’d want to do it. This will help you have a foundation to go from when looking at all these different profiles. I hope this helps you find more peace and settle all those different emotions that you’re experiencing. Trust me, I know how hard this is, but I also know that you’re strong enough to get through it.
Birth Mother Letters
Choosing an adoptive family can be very overwhelming. I do not know that there is any “right or one way” to select prospective parents for your baby. I know that everyone has different ideal images of what they want when choosing the people (or person) that will be raising their child. From experience, I also know that placing your baby for adoption is absolutely heartbreaking, so adding on the fact that you now have to decide who will raise that baby instead, is a lot.
When I found out I was pregnant and came to the conclusion of placing my daughter for adoption, my emotions were quite literally all over the place. I was confused, anxious, scared, heartbroken, and angry. I wasn’t sure how to navigate everything I was feeling in addition to the fact that I did not know how to go about the process. Fortunately, I came across this agency, and soon after my interest form request was filled out, I received a phone call from Amy. She guided me throughout the whole process and while all these different emotions don’t cease to exist, she did help me feel more at peace with the process. This newfound peace allowed me the opportunity to focus on choosing who would be raising my baby. What I appreciated about this agency, was that they have you fill out this survey in regard to what you were looking for in a new family. I feel as if I have heard countless stories of birth moms reading hundreds of different profiles and I think this survey process really helps narrow potential families to where it isn’t quite as overwhelming. I have always thought about the kind of parent that I would one day potentially be. This version of myself seemed so far away that the reality that I was birthing a child and having to make that decision of what kind of parent I wanted for her, was very unsettling.
It came time for Amy to send me different profiles of adopting families. I remember the first round of profiles that she sent me, and I just didn’t have that “this is it” feeling, so I requested for her to send more. It wasn’t that there was anything “wrong” with these families, I just felt that I needed some kind of unique connection with the family that was supposed to raise my baby, and I just hadn’t received it quite yet. So, she sends me more. I start reading one of the profiles in the second round, and without even getting through half of the profile, I knew. This couple with their little boy (who I knew was meant to be the brother of my little girl), was the exact image of everything I saw in myself as a future parent. Their genuineness, family togetherness, morals, faith, activeness, and background, just everything went perfectly with what I wanted for my daughter. After reading the profile in full, and reading it again, and again, I knew that I needed to send over the profiles to my boyfriend as he was a part of the process as well. As I sent them to him, I didn’t tell him my preference because I wanted to see which family he would choose. I prayed about it because I didn’t know what else to do. We then talk about the different profiles and come to find out we ended up choosing the same family. That was it, that was my sign, and so I told Amy. She then went on to reach out to the family and the rest is history. My daughter is now placed in that beautiful family and has two sets of loving parents.
No adoption is the same. Adoption can be varied from open, to semi-open, to closed. I can tell you that I originally wanted my daughter’s adoption to be closed, however, I had a phone call with the adoptive parents, and eventually, I did a complete 360 to have a fully open adoption and am so grateful that I still get to be a part of her life. I may not be the person that is raising her, but I feel absolutely confident in who I chose to do so.
Back to what I said earlier, there is no tutorial or “right” way to go about choosing adoptive parents. It is whatever feels right for you. It can help to idealize if you were to raise this baby, how you’d want to do it. This will help you have a foundation to go from when looking at all these different profiles. I hope this helps you find more peace and settle all those different emotions that you’re experiencing. Trust me, I know how hard this is, but I also know that you’re strong enough to get through it.
Let’s Talk or Text Confidentially & Privately
Contact Us
Not sure about adoption yet? That’s OK! The first step is getting more information and answers to your questions. Complete the online form to receive more information about making an adoption plan with Hudson Hearts Adoption. An adoption specialist will follow up with you to answer any additional questions and – if you’re ready – to schedule a phone call.
CALL or TEXT
Let’s Talk or Text Confidentially & Privately
Hudson Hearts Adoption
New York
PO BOX 280
Woodstock, NY 12498
New York
58 West 58th St., Suite 7B
New York, NY 10019
Texas
3571 Far West Blvd.
Austin, TX 78731