Jonathan & Henry

Dear Birth Mom,

We are so grateful to you for taking the time to get to know us. We can’t imagine a more difficult process than what you are going through, and we know every piece of your decision, including reading this book, takes love, courage, and selflessness. We know the sacrifice you are making is a profound act of motherly care, and if you choose us to be your child’s family, we promise to raise them with as much love and generosity as we can.

No matter what you decide, we respect and support you – every step of the way. We are quite literally an open book, so if you have any questions for us, we hope you will feel comfortable asking. 

With much love and gratitude,

Jonathan & Henry

About Jonathan

written with love by Henry

Jonathan is the most reliable, adaptable, understanding, patient, and clear-sighted person I know. He delights me still with his dry but silly sense of humor; his sweet, trusting openness to new people and ideas; and his ability to tackle whatever needs handling, quickly and elegantly – whether it’s doing his work, planning a vacation, preparing a meal, nailing a workout, or writing a novel. He declares interest in getting something done, for himself or others, and the doing seems to follow right behind.

But the other amazing thing about Jonathan is how much he has grown. In our early years, he would keep his feelings to himself and focus on supporting me with mine. Nowadays, Jonathan can tell me clearly and directly what he feels, and also calmly receive and consider my emotional responses to him. His sturdiness and clarity in these moments are so exciting and admirable to me that they draw me closer to him, even when he’s saying something hard to hear. I feel summoned to greater strength and openness by his strength and openness. 

As a parent, I know he will be loving, sturdy, patient, and supportive. I also know that he will be able to make sure your child knows that their feelings matter. More than anyone I know, Jonathan is able to understand and respect emotions without losing sight of what needs to be done. He inspires me to be stronger, and I know he will be a source of strength for your child.

Our Home

We own a beautiful and comfortable home on the top floor of a large apartment building on the Hudson River. Jonathan loves our open kitchen, where he cooks healthy meals like turkey meatballs and roasted vegetables over pasta, or baked fish and steamed broccoli with a lemon butter sauce. He also loves to bake bread and fruit cobblers. Jonathan starts every day with oatmeal and fruit, and a fresh cup of coffee. Lately, Henry usually skips breakfast but joins Jonathan with the New York Times crossword and a cold brew coffee. We also love eating meals and enjoying the sunshine on our balcony, with a stunning view of the river and majestic cliffs. We have a super soft, oversized couch that is perfect for hanging out and watching TV, reading fiction, or doing puzzles. Henry also sings and plays guitar – sometimes his own songs, but usually something by Taylor Swift or Beyoncé. Jonathan sings along when the fancy strikes him.  

We have many friends among our neighbors in the building, some working parents with young kids, some retired. We have already gotten offers to babysit! We live close to hiking trails, public parks, quaint towns along the river, and amazing schools. We have a playground in our backyard and a big communal playroom in our building, as well as two swimming pools – one just for kids. An elevator in our building goes directly to the train station, which gets us to New York City in about 40 minutes. We both take it into NYC for work, or for going to restaurants or Broadway plays on the weekends. 

We feel incredibly lucky to live here, and we are excited to raise your child in such a diverse and vibrant neighborhood that we get to call home.

Holidays & Traditions

For us, holidays are a time to celebrate with our family and friends or to relax from our full and busy lives. Holidays and celebrations are spent with our families, including our parents, siblings, and their kids. We gather around the table and talk, and feast. Thanksgiving is always a favorite time to see family, sometimes Henry’s, sometimes Jonathan’s, and sometimes both on different days. We also celebrate a third Thanksgiving with our friends up the street!

We usually spend Christmas with Jonathan’s mom’s side of our family. On Chanukah, we sing and light candles; on New Year’s Eve, we look on the past year with gratitude and the coming year with hope, and then go to bed early 🙂

These are the traditions we already have, but we are also excited to create new ones when we become parents – either familiar ones that connect us more deeply with our families, or new traditions that connect us with the culture and family of your child. We know any tradition we take up, whether familiar or new to us, will mean so much more to us when we can honor those traditions and celebrate as a family of three.