Sharing My Journey

Birth Mother Letters

Almost a year ago, my daughters’ adoption became official. Six months prior, I gave birth to my daughter, and she was welcomed into the world by not only one, but two sets of loving parents. A couple of months before that, her father and I were introduced to the amazing man and woman that we had chosen to raise our daughter. Rewind just a few months before that, and I received the phone call from the woman that helped create my daughters’ adoption story… Amy.

I had done some research to see what agencies would be best for me and found one that I liked. I then submitted my contact information to receive some more information about the agency. When I received that phone call from Amy, I immediately knew I was in good hands. Her tone of voice instantly assured me that she was there for me and throughout the process, she was just very honest and genuine in her efforts to help me.  There were a couple of different people who helped me through my journey. The two that left the most impact were Amy and Elisabeth. They always put my well-being first and that was really special to me. It was a hard enough decision to put my baby up for adoption and without their assistance and guidance, I’m not sure how I would’ve gotten through it. I now consider these women my friends and keep in contact with them. I would not have it any other way. They made such an impact in my life, that I am forever grateful for. It really helped to have such strong support from different people who really cared for my own and my daughter’s well-being.

As a 19-year-old college student, I was mortified to find out that I was pregnant. Countless thoughts flooded my head. “How am I going to tell my boyfriend?”, “What will he say?”, “What about my parents?”, “They will never speak to me again.”, “What am I going to do?”, “I cannot have a baby right now!”. I had to come to terms with this very quickly as I had found out when I was already 4 months into my pregnancy. I gathered the nerve to tell my boyfriend, to which he responded with disbelief at first. He then offered support and reassurance that we would be okay. We sat down and talked and reviewed our options because we both knew that as college students, barely figuring out our own lives, we were in no place to raise a child.

After deciding that the agency would be a good fit for us, they then helped us through the whole process. Amy asked us to fill out paperwork and then she started to send over profiles for different potential parents. Reading through them was definitely overwhelming in the sense that I knew I was choosing my daughters’ future. I remember coming across a family that I instantly knew would be a perfect fit. I had sent the different profiles over to my boyfriend to see which one he would choose, and we both chose the same one. That was how we both knew that we had found the family to raise our daughter. The profile was so genuine and relatable to our own personalities and lives, and it just really seemed like we had a lot in common. Once I told Amy, she was so excited for us and let them know.

I was not really sure that I wanted to meet with the parents because I was not sure if I wanted an open or closed adoption. At first, I was thinking about it being closed because I wasn’t sure that I would emotionally be able to handle an open adoption. As my pregnancy went on, and I grew more and more attached to this baby that was growing inside of me, I realized that it would actually be worse for me to not be able to at least be in my daughter’s life, whether that was through photos, videos, or even visits. Turns out, a few months after our daughters’ birth, my boyfriend and I went and stayed with her new parents and spent a whole week with them. We have built a relationship with her new family and continue to be involved in her life.

Giving my daughter up for adoption, was the absolute hardest decision of my life. Even to this day, there are times when I break down and cry about it. What has helped me over time, was realizing that she was happy and that she would be taken care of. These people that we chose, have nothing but love for her. She now has an abundant amount of people that love her and are looking out for her well-being. I had a few people who offered me love and support through my experience. I only hope that my story will help other birth moms throughout their journey as well.